... can be read here
YMG: I've never slept.
MMLS: Umm... I always thought that insomnia hurts more than sleep. Unless she chains herself to the bed. That could hurt.
JLP: I sleep very well, thank you very much. However, if I get less than seven hours, it takes me three hours to get up. ^_^
SB: Eh, who needs sleep.
MMLS: Okay, enough discussion on our sleeping habits
By Sad Green Eyes
SB: As opposed to Evil Red Devil Eyes?
YMG: At least they're not silver-blue-purple
JLP: *glares because YMG took her saying*
MMLS: Does the green make her different?
Rated G
JLP: As in God-Awful.
Romance/Horror
SB: It's a horrific romance.
YMG: How the hell is it going to be horror if it's rated G?
KEL: I'm already horrified.
MMLS: Actually, I found that the G-rated ones are more horrifying than all other ratings. It's because they are written by 12 year olds.
Now I don't sleep
SB: Because the beavers are trying to eat me.
YMG: We already went over this.
MMLS: I'm sensing some redundancy here...
So I don't dream of leaving,
SB: Because I'm chained up in the basement.
YMG: I dream of wetting my bed.
KEL: Whether or not she dreams of leaving, I dream she does
JLP: I used to lay awake at night...
I lie awake and face the night
SB: Hey, Night, how you doin'?
JLP: Heh.
YMG: The dark, the dark night!
JLP: *singing* THE DARKNESS OF THE MUSIC OF THE NIGHT!
I lie awake and dream of you
YMG: Dreaming of you ... and of meee!
SB: This sound like a Selena song.
YMG:It is.
KEL: Aren't dreaming and not sleeping mutually exclusive?
MMLS: NO! I mean, that's not what I do in physics class....
JLP: Daydreaming, I guess.
Is It Any Wonder by Sophie Ellis Bextor
SB: Hey, that's my soap opera name!
YMG: Oh, gawd! Anyone but her ...
MMLS: Wait, we know her? And I would only be wondering if this story was well-written.
JLP: ...You know, for a second, I thought that was the name of the fic and author.
It was pitch black,
SB: Where's that damn lightswitch?
YMG: Isn't that a bad horror flick? In a bad horror fanfic?
MMLS: BOTH?
KEL: Again, we went over this. She seems to have a thing for repetition.
no shadows played on the walls this night.
YMG: They'd lost all their jacks the night before. Or they were out snorting coke.
JLP: Well, if it's pitch black, then chances are there aren't any shadows.
SB: Tonight, the shadows were having sex, not playing soccer.
KEL: Goodnight shadows that aren't there. Goodnight walls. Goodnight clock, goodnight moon ... *cough*
She lay awake trying to forget how depressed
YMG: we are.
JLP: *cough hack hack*
MMLS: Oh dear... Just take some Valium!
she was and how she didn't eat anymore.
YMG: Like us, while reading this. Wait – I think SB wrote this. :)
SB: *whaps across the head*
KEL: Speaking of knives in the dark ...
MMLS: You can't forget that you don't eat. Wouldn't you be hungry all the time?
JLP: Logic escapes the author...and she only has half a page to catch it. ^_^
In the dark
YMG: In the night. In the dark. In the house. There was a mouse.
MMLS: In the middle of the niiiight, I go walkin' in my sleeeeppp!
JLP: Naked in the dark... (Alas!)
she felt Frodo
YMG: Through the Force.
MMLS: And he was ... driving ... a batmobile.
YMG: . . .
get into bed beside her,
JLP: Ew. Ew. Ew.
SB: That's...just not natural!
it was then she became aware of the tears running down her cheeks.
YMG: I would be crying too if Frodo got into MY bed!
SB: Tears, liquids of emotion.
KEL: I thought this was G?
MMLS: I would run away horrified!
JLP: Uh...yes...it's kind of hard to forget you're crying...
Without a word Frodo held her in his arms and comforted her with the warmth of his body.
YMG: Body body, wanna feel my, feel my, body, body!
MMLS: I thought he was a cold-blooded animal?
KEL: Well, his eyes are sort of reptilian ...
JLP: Warm. Elijah is warm. Ew.
SB: Do ya wanna touch, do ya wanna touch, do ya wanna touch me theeeere!
Soon he was asleep while she remained staring into the dark.
SB: Is she blind or something?
KEL: In case we didn't know, it is still dark.
YMG: Not like she's mentioned that ... how many times?
KEL: A lot. Every other sentence to be exact.
YMG: I guess she's trying to, uh, illustrate the horror ...
KEL: And symbolize the depression ...
YMG: ... right.
MMLS: These were the dark times. The Evenstar faded in the west...
JLP: Oy. Don't be stealin meh job.
MMLS: Ha. Reputable Tolkien fanatic my ass.
15 minutes later...
YMG: Boy was that quick!
MMLS: It only took him fifteen minutes? I guess he's not one for foreplay ...
JLP: Maybe he's a five second kind of guy. *hint hint*
SB: 15 minutes ... after the sex change...
She was crying,
JLP: Still? Who is she, me? *pause* Wait, I just made fun of myself...
YMG: Because he was THAT bad.
MMLS: Do you know from experience?
YMG: No! It's only because he is gay!
trying to forget the knife in her hand and the blood everywhere.
YMG: Wait ...
MMLS: How was he comforting her if she had a knife in her hand? Would he notice?
She had destroyed what she loved, the only thing that was keeping her alive.
SB: Her life-support system had been unplugged!
YMG: wait ...
MMLS: Did he die of a heart attack? Like all those old men who sleep with young prostitutes?
Frodo's body was cold and her tears mixed with his spilt blood.
YMG: YES! YES! YES! I LOVE THIS STORY!
MMLS: I told you he was cold ...
JLP: Elven SpitÔ will stop the Bleeding!
“But I can still be with him”
SB: Eeeeeew, oh my God! She's not going to...AAAAGH!
KEL: Please, be with him.
YMG: And die!
JLP: Death be upon thee, Sue of EEEEEVVIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLL!
MMLS: I hope she's not talking necrophilia here.
KEL: You won't have any competition.
YMG: We won't stop you ...
was her only thought
YMG: The only thought she'd ever had.
MMLS: Like all the other Mary Sues before and after her.
JLP: Why don't the Mary Sues go get a brain? CEREBELLUM!
as the cold knife pierced her own skin and her blood began to pour.
SB: Oooooh! She meant killing herself...well that makes everything so much better.
JLP: She's dead? We don't even know her name! I dub thee... *grins* Untitled2.doc.
YMG: It's raining, it's pouring, this story is boring ...
JLP: I'm going to eat a carton of ice cream, AND THEN CUT MYSELF!
MMLS: Why would it be cold if she just stabbed him? It would actually be quite warm... from his blood.
JLP: Especially since they were sleeping together.
I tried to kill the pain
SB: With an aspirin cocktail!
YMG: Mhm.
JLP: Oooooookaayyyyyyyy.
MMLS: Oh no! She's going to ruin one of my favourite songs of all time!!
But only brought more
YMG: Yay!
I lay dying and I'm pouring crimson regrets and betrayal
SB: With your mom.
YMG: Singin', just singin', in the rain!
I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming
SB: In other words, she's Judas. You know, this si really starting to sound like The Passion of the Christ.
YMG: And forgetting punctuation ... (This is all one sentence.)
JLP: No punctuation whatsoever... (SHAMELESS PLUG as I read it aloud without stopping for breath)
Am I too lost to be saved Am I too lost?
SB: Have you found Jesus?
YMG: Yes.
Do you remember me?
YMG: No.
Lost for so long
YMG: Obviously.
SB: In another dims
Will you be on the other side
YMG: The real question is, will the chicken be there?
JLP: No. The chicken was hit by a car—but he lived! And then there was malpractice during the surgery to save him—but he lived! And then his girlfriend dumped him and he was forced to live on the street—but he lived! And he killed his ex and her new boyfriend and went to jail for life—but he lived! And then he was released on good behavior and now lives on a big house on a hill—but died getting plastic surgery to make him hotter.
ALL: O_O
Or will you forget me?
JLP: *pauses* Yes.
YMG: I can only hope.
Tourniquet by Evanescence
JLP: Evanescence. The muse for all badsongfic writers everywhere.
~fin~