by JLP and YMG
DISCLAIMER: JLP came up with this idea on the bus a few days ago. The battle will rage long and hard, and gets more creative as the challenge continues, as the Mary Sues will not be allowed to mention any "special traits" that they mentioned in the previous rounds. (With the exception of being "misunderstood" and marrying Legolas.)
LET THE BATTLE COMMENCE!
Alarianna: *pouts* I’m so misunderstood!
Arianna: Wut? I’m MORE misunderstood!
Alarianna: Well, yanno what? I’m an orphan!
Arianna: Oh yeah, well I was found by Elrond on the edge of the forest!
Alarianna: Oh yeah? Well I was raised by dirty men in a cave, and was RAPED!
Arianna: Well, I’m secretly a PRINCESS
Alarianna: Well…I’m a HALF-ELVEN PRINCESS!
Arianna: Well…I get to marry Legolas!
Alarianna: Well I get to marry Legolas AND repopulate Middle-earth with him!
Arianna: Well I get to marry Legolas AND join the Fellowship
Alarianna: Oh yeah? Well Elrond (my long lost father with a human mother, SUCKER!) personally asked me to join the Fellowship…AND THEY ALL AGREED!
Arianna: Oh yeah? I went to school in Mordor! And I’m secretly Sauron’s daughter! So THERE!
Alarianna: Oh yeah? Well I recreated Middle-earth’s religious system and placed myself as SUPREME GODDESS!
Arianna: Oh yeah? Well I became President of the Undying lands!
Alarianna: Oh yeah? I purified the Ring of power! And now it’s got diamonds on it!
Arianna: Oh yeah? Well I got all the other rings and put them together on a really really cool necklace
Alarianna: Oh yeah? Necklaces SUCK! And besides, the One Ring is my wedding ring!
Arianna: And I made a pair of earrings! The Two earrings…TO RULE THEM ALL!
Alarianna: Earrings suck too! They suck ass!
Arianna: I’m the Queen of Rivendell! And you suck!
Alarianna: Yes I do suck. A LOT. *hinthintwinkwinksaynomore*
Arianna: You can’t talk to me like that!
Alarianna: I’m the goddess of Middle-earth! I’m your boss! Now don’t make me smite you! With guns! And claws!
Arianna: Oh yeah? I was Luthien in a past life! BITE ME.
Alarianna: I was Varda in a past life!
Arianna: Well…I’m an Istari princess queen, And president, and I MARRY LEGOLAS!
Alarianna: Tch. I’m the GODDESS OF MIDDLE-EARTH! Stupid democracy never worked anyway. AND I MARRY LEGOLAS!
Arianna: Well I wear trousers
Alarianna: Well I’m a hidden beauty
Arianna: And I’m one of, if not THE best archers in middle earth
Alarianna: I fight with a sword (and suck it)
Arianna: And I can kill 352581519 orcs with ONE arrow!
Alarianna: Well I’ve beheaded 352581520 orcs with one swing
Alarianna: And I can belt
Arianna: I summoned the army of the dead
Alarianna: No you didn’t
Arianna: And killed everyone in .2 seconds
Arianna: I did
Alarianna: That was my lover Aragorn
Arianna: Because I joined the fellowship
Arianna: But I’m so misunderstood
Arianna: So they didn’t write it down
Arianna: No one understands me
Arianna: *Sniff*
Alarianna: Well sorry to break it to you, but I used to cut myself
Arianna: Oh the troubles I’ve seen!
Arianna: Oh yeah well I once cut myself too deep and Legolas had to save me from death
Arianna: And I cut off an ear
Alarianna: You didn’t cut yourself that was jlp
Arianna: …
Arianna: And I cut off my fourth toe
Arianna: And the tip of my finger
Alarianna: And I impaled myself on a sword
Arianna: And gouged out an eye
Alarianna: And I almost became sterile
Arianna: and I sacrificed my arm for legolas
Alarianna: And I sacrificed myself for Legolas
Arianna: I drank poison for peter
Arianna: I mean Aragorn
Arianna: *looks shadily around*
Alarianna: Well I don’t have any battle wounds
Arianna: Well I got cured by Galadriel
Arianna: And I’m arwen’s sister
Arianna: I’m elrond’s secret love child with Sauron
Arianna: Top that
Arianna: Biatch
Alarianna: Well I kicked Sauron’s ass
Arianna: Well, I’m a sorcerer hunter
Arianna: And a ranger.
Arianna: And a ninja.
Alarianna: Elrond cheated on his wife with my human mother, then killed them both!
Arianna: A: HIYAH
Alarianna: I’m a samurai.
Arianna: I’m the last samurai. AND I’m a warrior PRINCESS
Alarianna: I’m a VIKING WARRIOR PRINCESS
Arianna: I’m a POWER RANGER
~End Part One~