by JLP and YMG
Arianna: *twirls hair* I'm soooooo misunderstood!
Alarianna: Nun un! I'm even more misunderstood!
Arianna: I'm so glad Legolas understands me! Us being SOUL MATES!
Alarianna: Nobody understands me! I'm forced to battle it out with my own emotions! But Legolas is there to help me...
Arianna: Legolas wouldn't help you! He'd never leave my side!
Alarianna: I vent my anger through my art!
Arianna: I vent my anger through singing. I have the mostest beautifullest voice in Middle Earth.
Alarianna: I vent my anger through singing too, except I sing the ancient ballads of times past from stories nobody's ever heard of with an even PRETTIER voice!
Arianna: No way!
Alarianna: Way!
Arianna: Legolas heard me singing, and started to cry because it was sooo beautiful because I sing like Britney. And she’s cool and Legolas Luvs Britney
Alarianna: No way! Britney sucks! I sing Avril to Legolas! And he told me I sing like an Angel! It makes sense, because I AM an Angel!
Arianna: Angels don't exist in Middle Earth, so you don't exist in Middle Earth, Loooser!
Alarianna: Angels DO exist!! I'm proof! And besides: I grind the rails of Rivendell!
Arianna: Oh yeah, well I ice skate in Rivendell and I can do a QUADROOPLE axel.
Alarianna: Well Legolas and I were clubbing in Lothlórien, and he told me that I was the bestest dancer EVER!
Arianna: Yeah right. I can do ballet, and the tango, and the Macarena!
Alarianna: I can do swing, hip hop, Latin, modern, ballet, tango, waltz, and the funky chicken! (Not to mention the big fish little fish cardboard box dance!)
Arianna: Oh yeah, well I can ALSO do the Charleston and the Madison and the foxtrot and the bump and the grind and the funky chicken!!!
Alarianna: Well I can to 100 bajillion cartwheels! Underwater! In only one breath!
Arianna: Well I can do karate underwater in the freezing cold
Alarianna: Well I can control the weather and water and fire and all that other good stuff!
Arianna: Well I'm the sister of Captain Planet!
Alarianna: And I once saved a baby from a burning building! No, not once, I do it every day!
Arianna: I once saved 8 babies from a burning building at the same time and I had my hands tied behind my back!
Alarianna: I met Elijah Wood!
Arianna: Wut? Elijah wood doesn't live in Middle Earth. I met Elijah and Dom and Billy tho! And they all fell madly in love with me
Alarianna: That doesn’t make any sense! But I can travel through time! And I met Orli! And Karl! And Viggo! And Bean! And Ian! And JUDE!
Arianna: Who cares?
Alarianna: They care! We had AN ORGY!
Arianna: I'm best friends with Aragorn and Gimli and—oh yeah—I'm with Legolas.
Alarianna: I have a harem, yanno.
Arianna: I have 5 harems and they all love me and fight over me.
Alarianna: Well all of the hot ones are in mine, including that yummy ranger of Ithilien off-center in that scene by the Forbidden Pool!
Arianna: Oh yeah, well I OWN the forbidden pool. Faramir gave it to me for my birthday!
Alarianna: I own THE WORLD! Oh, and Faramir is in my harem too! And Éomer! And Legolas! And Aragorn! And Boromir! And all of the hobbits of the shire!
Arianna: No, cuz they're already in my harem
Alarianna: No, they're in mine, and they love me more than YOU!
Arianna: I'm cooler than you anyway.
Alarianna: No way, I'm a sk8er gal! I'm way too cool for you!
Arianna: Well I'm an ICE sk8er girl
Alarianna: I RADIATE coolosity!
Arianna: Well I AM coolosity
Alarianna: No you aren't! And I'm a pimp!
Arianna: And I am the president of pimps and Legolas is one of my pimps so there!
Alarianna: There isn't a president of the pimps! ...word.
Arianna: Yeah there is cuz I'm one!
Alarianna: Well I helped Legolas stop cutting himself!
Arianna: Well I opened a clinic for people who cut themselves and I won the Nobel prize and the Pulitzer for my poems about cutting.
Alarianna: I SAVED THE WORLD!
Arianna: I saved the Universe!
Alarianna: Well I write fanfiction! Good fanfiction! About Legolas! And I have 3515353345342534534305345346543 reviews!
Arianna: Well I own fanfiction.net and everyone loves me!
Alarianna: No they don't! *I* hate you!
Arianna: I got 32525815727188111 fanfictions published!
Alarianna: You can't publish fanfiction!
Arianna: Oh yeah? Well I did.
Alarianna: Yeah right. Phshaw
Arianna: and I draw the best doujinshi in the whooollel world
Alarianna: *gasp* Nuh un! I DO! I draw fanart! Good fanart! Of Legolas! And it's really good! And I got put on this site!
Arianna: Mine's better, and you suck at drawing, and I got put on 4 sites!
Alarianna: Well I do pottery and all of the other forms of art!
Arianna: Well I batik bed sheets for Legolas and I bet you don't even know WHAT THAT IS,
cuz you’re stupid!
Alarianna: I break in bed sheets with Legolas.... *wink*
Arianna: Well I tear up bed sheets with Legolas and then we made lingerie out of them!
Alarianna: We need new sheets every second and I invented the thong!
Arianna: Well I invented edible underwear!
Alarianna: Well I invented see-through lingerie!
Arianna: Well I invented the nudist colony and I go there every weekend with my harem!
Alarianna: Well I have wild sex like you wouldn't believe! *pause* What's the matter? Have nothing to say? *grins cockily*
Arianna: Well I painted the Mona Lisa!
Alarianna: Well I star in Broadway shows! In fact, I've starred in every play or musical on Broadway, off-Broadway, and off off-Broadway!
Arianna: I write Broadway shows!
Alarianna: oh yeah? Well I’m angsty! I'm angsty like you wouldn't believe! I have serious trauma to the head!
Arianna: Well I have serious trauma to the spine! And I have to be carried around! Woe is meee!
Alarianna: I've lost all motor skills in my legs!
Arianna: I've lost all motor skills and have to communicate telepathically!
Alarianna: Oh yeah, well patterns in the wind convey my emotions!
Arianna: Well I control the wind!
Alarianna: Well I CONTROL YOUR MIND!
~End Part Two~